Today's Ingredients:
The Birdcage
The Bourne Identity
Bad Boys

Matt Damon is...Jason Bourne...a man with amnesia just picked up off of Miami Beach by gay nightclub owner (Robin Williams). Back at the club, Bourne finds himself strangely attracted to the new club act (Ben Affleck, finally allowing the two to outright play gay lovers), as he learns the ins and outs of the gay cabaret show industry...Little does he know that the club is being investigated by Miami cops (Will Smith and Martin Lawerence), who think the club is a drug front for drug lord and gay socialite Percy Vananos (Martin Short), the very man Bourne was sent to take down. Lets also throw in Nelson Mandela as the bartender, Kate Hudson as the coat check girl with the heart of gold, and John Leguizamo as Percy's right hand man.
Lets Make It Happen.

Look for this good stuff hitting the shelves at a Best Buy near you soon...

Garfield And Friends Volume 1 --- 7/27
Kill Bill:Volume 2 --- 8/10
Late Night With Conan O' Brien:Best Of Triumph The Insult Comic Dog --- 8/10
Saved By The Bell The College Years Season One --- 8/17
Da Ali G Show:Season 1 --- 8/17
Futurama:Volume 4 --- 8/24
The Girl Next Door (UNRATED EDITION) --- 8/24
Arrested Development:Season 1 --- 10/19

Save up your allowance NOW.

Over the past few weeks, I've been catching some criticism from people who will go nameless about my movie ratings. Therefore, I've decided to develop a more scientific approach. Keep in mind this is a work in progress and is not yet finalized.

Start with base of 50 points. Scores cannot exceed 100 or go below 0. Take final score and divide by 20 and round up to reach a scale of 0-5 rating.

Criteria:

-10 Remake of old TV show/movie
+10 Original (relatively speaking) idea
+10 Intense, innovative action sequences
-10 Overuse or misuse of computer effects
+10 Above par performances
-15 Colin Farrell
-7 Period piece
-10 Use of voiceover
-15 Somebody dies of a disease
+25 Somebody's body is torn to pieces by radioactive ravenous monkeys
-20 No discernable plot
-10 Remaking a foreign film that came out last year
+10 Christopher Walken
+10 Gene Hackman
+15 Boobs
+7 Car chase through the streets of Europe
+20 An Emo-Punk band makes an appearance
-15 Time travel
-25 Contains scenes that didn't actually happen in order to confuse the viewer about a twist ending that doesn't make enough sense to be surprising
+10 A training sequence/musical montage
-15 Flashbacks to earlier scenes in the movie
-20 Second part of a trilogy
+30 Quentin Tarantino
+20 Will Ferrell
-15 Exceeds 2 hours
-25 Comedy that exceeds 105 minutes
-20 Crazy, shaky-cam, frantic Michael Bay action sequences
+20 Blistering social commentary
+20 Makes you think
+25 The feeling of actually wanting to know what happens to the characters
-30 Slipshod ending

More ideas?

The thing is, I actually wrote a lengthy review. But it's classified. Just ask 6069. Perhaps it can be moved...

So here we are, 4:09 AM and I'm sitting up watching elimiDATE...why, you ask? Because I'm pretty sure I'm developing full blown insomnia here. Anyone have any good sleeping techniques for me?
TOP 5 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT
5.Apply to bizarre job postings in the paper
4.Update this website
3.Watch Iron Chef/Adult Swim/elimiDATE/Baseball replays
2.Consume mass quantities
1.Nothing...its the fucking middle of the night here. Everyone else is asleep.

If anyone else has this problem , please let me know and we can hang out after everyone else has retired for the evening. And if you have any sure fire ways of getting to bed let me know that too!

Well for some reason I've regained an intense interest in Baseball that I haven't entertained in about 8 years, and find myself watching Sports Center recaps of Baseball games at odd hours of late night and mid morning when nothing else is on...go Phillies!
Shout out to Connie Chung for giving me a sweet Home Entertainment Center that my father managed to puzzle together in only a half hour.
On the road to attaining my goals of 30 concerts on the year, and 100 movies I am doing quite well. Standings are now at 18 Concerts seen on the year, with 2 probable shows on the horizon, and 54 movies watched on the year...and by the way, if you have not already, run right out and see Anchorman:The Legend Of Ron Burgundy RIGHT FUCKING NOW. You will laugh, and then thank me.
CDS in my player:
Anything Incubus (Morning View, Make Yourself, and A Crow Left Of The Murder)
Anything Midtown (Save The World Lose The Girl, Living Well Is The Best Revenge, and ASS-KICKING new CD Forget What You Know)
Taking Back Sunday's new emo-masterpiece Where You Want To Be
Dave Matthews Band's Live In Central Park is 3 discs of live energy with hits old and new is also a definite crowd pleaser, and finally
check out the new self-titled Lit CD...these guys have more rock in them than just My Own Worst Enemy.
New Clerks Inaction toys, this time the Dogma line, look pretty sweet, including Matt Damon as Loki and Ben Affleck as Bartleby, plus shit monster Golgothon...and yet another 2 renditions of Jay and Bob. Plus Clerks Tenth Anniversary 3 disc DVD coming to shelves this fall featuring...a brand new animated Clerks bonus sequence featuring Dante and Randall!
Finally, anyone out there with anything remotely interesting to say should post it on this website. We need to know that someones reading this or Mike might kill himself. So if you don't want Mike to jump out a window, please post something. OK, gotta go, Fight Club...

situational comedy. n. a form of broadcast television program that entertained tv viewers for approximately 50 years before the stupidest generation of americans ever born embraced their "guilty pleasure" and replaced scripted comedy with reality television.
Situational comedies or sitcoms traditionally center on a family with 2-3 children and a wacky neighbor. Although it appeared that sitcoms were peaking during the 90s with the wildly popular but also well written and original Seinfeld and Friends, the genre was in fact teetering on the edge of a steep cliff. Survivor drew on the reality tv format originally created by The Real World and quickly spawned off enough shows to fill all four networks. The additional rise of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire axed the rest of the sitcom space in favor of bizarre reality/extreme/game shows.
As Justin brought to my attention, NBC is only airing 4 sitcoms next season: Scrubs, Will and Grace, Joey, and some Siegfried and Roy cartoon. Will the sitcom be dead and buried in another year? Or will America finally realize what it's watching is total scripted unscripted crap?

Since Justin hasn't been living up to his posting duties, I hope this will help motivate him to talk about his feelings- Just a reminder to all: WWSG is an equal opporutnity non-discriminatory site. That being said, discuss:

brianmdavis: what's new with you?
Pepsichug: nothing
Pepsichug: im coming out of the closet

So I go down to Atlantic City to celebrate the birth of our great country, and on the way home I had an epiphany. Let me tell you how great our country is. I got on the Atlantic City Expressway at 12:33 AM. I sat there in massive traffic. I sat there until I reached the first tollbooth about 3 miles down the road at 1:10 AM. 37 fucking minutes!! Just so I could put 50 fucking cents into that fucking toll. People sit there, there lives inching that much closer to their ends just so this cheap ass country could collect 50 fucking cents per car. If John Kerry wanted to win this election so bad, he'd promise to eliminate every tollbooth in this country. Then he'd be a shoo in. Meanwhile I wasn't done. I had to sit at least another 10 minutes waiting to pay ANOTHER toll about a half hour later. 2.00 MORE dollars in the toilet. Then the absolute kicker. 3.00 to cross the bridge out of New Jersey. Paying to get out of that shitbox was the last straw. Of all the states in the union no other state takes advantage of toll-rapes more than New Jersey does. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. The drivers suck. The roads suck. The circles or turnabouts or whatever those fucking things are, suck. If your driving into New Jersey may god be with you. Every road into that cursed state should have a sign that says "Beware, all ye who enter here." The only worthwhile things to come out of that state is Mike's girlfriend and her bro (loyal readers of this site!), Bon Jovi, and emo/pop/punk bands Midtown and Saves The Day.
Speaking of emo, I've been listening to a lot of that stuff lately, and its the only music that can alternately make you believe you can succeed in life or keep you feeling depressed and sad and happy that you feel that way. Midtowns new album, Forget What You Know has some deep, awe-inspiring rock. Don't just listen to the guitars (of which there are plenty or ear splitting solos), keep your ears on the musings of amazing lyricist Gabe Saporta. Another thing I've been doing a lot of lately, is staying up until all hours of the night watching Iron Chef on Food Network. Last night was the "30 Year Old Giant Lobster Battle". Iron Chef Italian won in a not surprising outcome, as I've noticed that the judges on the Japanese version of the show seem to always favor the Iron Chefs over the challengers. Or maybe its because they always serve their dishes second, and thats what the judges taste closest to judging time. Speaking of dishes on the Food Network, I'd like to take Rachael Ray to town. Not like that fucker Bobby Flay. If I see one more hour of programming about BBQ's this summer I'll freak the hell out. I hope someone throws Bobby Flay on a grill and flays him. The only thing more annoying on TV are the constant commercials for disgusting shit, like Immodium AD....who wants to watch some chick running to the can? I feel sorry for the girl who played that role in that commercial. If I were going out with her I would never be able to make out with her or anything...everytime I'd go in to do anything, I'd think about her running to the can with her uncontrollable bowels. And if I say that about her, what do you think I'm gonna say about the woman in all the commercials for herpes pills? If you have herpes you CAN'T POSSIBLY live a normal life...whose gonna bang you? YOU HAVE HERPES! Dammit I hate that commercial. Oh well, she was probably from Jersey anyway.

I figured for once I'd review a show that wasn't emo or punk pop so anyone reading out there, don't keel over in shock. Ironically these guys played the Honda Civic Tour back in 2002, so who knows whose going to be doing it next year.
Seeing a concert at an indoor arena is a different experience when one is used to club shows. First off unless your on the floor theres just about no room to move. You can jump straight up and down or sway left and right a little, but thats about it. So a band has to work extra hard to make the crowd rock out...then again if a band is playing this big of a venue, the crowd is most likely already into them...and I'll assure you, they were.
Incubus opened their show with their biggest recent hit Megalomaniac, followed by another radio hit, rocker Nice To Know You, to get the crowd really going. As they continued their guitar assault with Priceless, Just A Phase, and Circles, a big screen showed up behind them during some songs alternating between showing the band playing and funky tripped out images featuring Jellyfish among other things. The crowd really came alive with Incubus's biggest hit Wish You Were Here igniting lighters and pot alternately all over the place.
The fun continued as they played a new funky version of Drive, a cover of motown hit My Girl and Vitamin, which featured a huge long insanely cool drum bit, featuring not only the drummer, but bassist Ben on a second set of drums and lead singer Brandon on bongos. The three played back and forth to each other, mimicing and in unison, before they actually finished the song about 15 minutes after the drums started. Awesome stuff. After that the set wound down with first album single Stellar, Pistola, the tremendous title track from the new album "A Crow Left Of The Murder", new single Talk Shows On Mute, Sick Sad Little World, and an anthemic crowd sing along called Are You In?
It was during the encore break that the magic of this venue really came out, with thousands of lighters lighting up the darkness like a starscape and the crowd just defeaningly screaming until the band came back.
They did 3 more songs, including awesome closer The Warmth, but it was a little disappointing that they didn't play one of their singles at the end like Warning or Pardon Me, making some of the crowd bored because they didn't know the songs. Too bad for them...this was a truly rocking show. If anyone wants to go see them in Washington in October gimme a holler...Incubus has one of the coolest, and less derivitive sounds out there, and they do a truly energetic epic show.