As I was watching the seemingly mindless comic joy of another crazy episode of ATHF I noticed a strange repeating theme amongst episodes: the gang or Carl buying a product and getting more than they bargained for. Observe:
#413 Carl Wash
Carl gets a car wash from Meatwad's detailing company, unfortunately it includes a free lobotomy
#409 Grim Reaper Gutters
Purchasing new gutters from a mysterious salesman results in your untimely demise
#408 Global Grilling
Shake's new grill burns a hole in the ozone layer
#405 Hand Banana
Meatwad's Make Your Own Dog 1.0 set creates a dog intent on raping Carl
#404 Dickesode
A fast food restaurant's "Rip-n-Win" contest awards Carl the "prize" of genital mutilation.
#310 Diet
Carl's new diet bars, 'South Bronx Parasite' help him lose weight... as parasites eat him from the inside.
#305 eDork
Shake gets an eHelmet which slowly crushes him under the weight of its upgrades.
#220 The Clowning
Carl buys a wig containing alien DNA that turns him into a clown.
#201 Super Birthday Snake
Meatwad wants a rabbit, but Shake gets him a snake instead, which ends up eating them both.
#117 Mail Order Bride
Shake and Carl order a mail order bride from Chechnya who ends up stealing Carl's car
#113 Dumber Dolls
Frylock buys Meatwad a new doll named "Happy Time Harry". It turns out that the doll is a depressed, cynical, suicidal, knife-wielding, drug-addicted alcoholic who makes Meatwad as depressed and cynical as he is.
So what does this all mean? Is it no coincidence that a show starring anthropomorphic fast food items seems to have a recurring episode theme warning about the hidden consequences of rampant consumerism? Or maybe the writers just pick from 3 template plot outlines for every episode? Well, I guess we'll find out in this spring's ATHF Colon Moviefilm for Theaters.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Buyer Beware
Mike, 3/26/2007 07:29:18 PM
Add Comment PermalinkNew York State Of Gluttony
ChefMagnoliaFan, 3/25/2007 04:42:25 PM
So for years all I knew of New York City was Times Square. And I was afraid to venture out any further, as I'm sure many people are. How do I use the subway? Where do I go? And most importantly...where do I eat with the 73993003020 choices to pick from?
Well ever since my good buddy Jgo moved to NYC and I was taught to broaden my Big Apple horizons, I've been introduced to a whole slew of culinary delights outside of the massively crowded Times Square area. So from my mouth to your eyes, here are some suggestions for you lost souls out there thinking about going to the city.
1.The Carnegie Deli - http://www.carnegiedeli.com/
What better place to start in New York but the most famous deli on Earth? In a town known for big honkin sandwiches this is the original. Get a plate of pickles, a corned beef special the size of your head, and a kick-ass slice of thick NY Cheesecake. And for the weak of stomach heres a tip...splitting a sandwich with a friend is plenty food.
2.The Landmarc -
http://www.landmarc-restaurant.com/
If steak is your game than look no further than this beauty of a restaurant in Tribeca. Great steaks and mouthwatering Mussels were highlights. And if you want some dessert but your close to full then you can check out their dessert tapas...3 bucks each or 15 for a sampler of all of them! Plus the ambiance here is fantastic, with a small bar (with great beer selection), and the cool looking fireplace/stove thing in the dining room. Take a date!
3.Ninja New York -
http://www.ninjanewyork.com/
In probably the coolest restaurant concept I've EVER heard of (besides the one where you can eat off a naked chick), this Japanese restaurant is setup like an ancient Japanese village...and you are served by Ninjas!!!! They come out of secret passages, do tricks for you, and if your really lucky they show you their swords! Plus the sushi is excellent to boot!
4.Mario Batali's Otto Enoteca Pizzeria -
http://www.ottopizzeria.com/
In a town known for its Pizza this place had possibly the best Pizza I have ever eaten. The Iron Chef Mario Batali's pizza joint features mouth watering thin crust Pizzas (try the Arugula Prosciutto...amazing), artisinal Gelato (the Cinnamon and Pistacho were both fantastic), and a selection of different pastas, cured meats, and salads (try the one with the Parmesean souffle, I've never had anything else even like it) to choose from. And the prices aren't half bad either!
5.Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
http://www.bubbagump.com/locations/new_york_city.html
And if your like I used to be and can't find your way out of Times Square check out this seafood joint chain...Based on Forrest Gump's fictional Shrimping endeavor from the eponymous movie, its got great mixed drinks, a prime location, and a constant crowd! Plus you can literally order a bucket of seafood. Just remember this is a chain...although I've never actually seen another one.
Bonus Dessert Section!
1.The Little Pie Company -
http://littlepiecompany.com/
This place specializes in baked goods (you can even order them from the website) and of course its pies. Try the out of this world award winning Banana Coconut Cream Pie...the cheesecake cupcakes also looked pretty freakin' tasty.
2.Magnolia Bakery -
http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7117258#editorialre
Of course no trip to NYC would be complete without checking out the BEST cupcakes in the known universe. You've seen them in Sex And The City. You've heard about them during the infamous SNL Lazy Sunday skit. Now taste them. Taste the future.
So those are my eating suggestions in NYC...Of course I'm no expert, and theres 100 other places I'd like to check out. If you have any other suggestions feel free to post em up here!
Add Comment PermalinkWell ever since my good buddy Jgo moved to NYC and I was taught to broaden my Big Apple horizons, I've been introduced to a whole slew of culinary delights outside of the massively crowded Times Square area. So from my mouth to your eyes, here are some suggestions for you lost souls out there thinking about going to the city.
1.The Carnegie Deli - http://www.carnegiedeli.com/
What better place to start in New York but the most famous deli on Earth? In a town known for big honkin sandwiches this is the original. Get a plate of pickles, a corned beef special the size of your head, and a kick-ass slice of thick NY Cheesecake. And for the weak of stomach heres a tip...splitting a sandwich with a friend is plenty food.
2.The Landmarc -
http://www.landmarc-restaurant.com/
If steak is your game than look no further than this beauty of a restaurant in Tribeca. Great steaks and mouthwatering Mussels were highlights. And if you want some dessert but your close to full then you can check out their dessert tapas...3 bucks each or 15 for a sampler of all of them! Plus the ambiance here is fantastic, with a small bar (with great beer selection), and the cool looking fireplace/stove thing in the dining room. Take a date!
3.Ninja New York -
http://www.ninjanewyork.com/
In probably the coolest restaurant concept I've EVER heard of (besides the one where you can eat off a naked chick), this Japanese restaurant is setup like an ancient Japanese village...and you are served by Ninjas!!!! They come out of secret passages, do tricks for you, and if your really lucky they show you their swords! Plus the sushi is excellent to boot!
4.Mario Batali's Otto Enoteca Pizzeria -
http://www.ottopizzeria.com/
In a town known for its Pizza this place had possibly the best Pizza I have ever eaten. The Iron Chef Mario Batali's pizza joint features mouth watering thin crust Pizzas (try the Arugula Prosciutto...amazing), artisinal Gelato (the Cinnamon and Pistacho were both fantastic), and a selection of different pastas, cured meats, and salads (try the one with the Parmesean souffle, I've never had anything else even like it) to choose from. And the prices aren't half bad either!
5.Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
http://www.bubbagump.com/locations/new_york_city.html
And if your like I used to be and can't find your way out of Times Square check out this seafood joint chain...Based on Forrest Gump's fictional Shrimping endeavor from the eponymous movie, its got great mixed drinks, a prime location, and a constant crowd! Plus you can literally order a bucket of seafood. Just remember this is a chain...although I've never actually seen another one.
Bonus Dessert Section!
1.The Little Pie Company -
http://littlepiecompany.com/
This place specializes in baked goods (you can even order them from the website) and of course its pies. Try the out of this world award winning Banana Coconut Cream Pie...the cheesecake cupcakes also looked pretty freakin' tasty.
2.Magnolia Bakery -
http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7117258#editorialre
Of course no trip to NYC would be complete without checking out the BEST cupcakes in the known universe. You've seen them in Sex And The City. You've heard about them during the infamous SNL Lazy Sunday skit. Now taste them. Taste the future.
So those are my eating suggestions in NYC...Of course I'm no expert, and theres 100 other places I'd like to check out. If you have any other suggestions feel free to post em up here!
My TV Just Got Its Heart Restarted With A Car Battery
Justin, 3/21/2007 10:33:31 PM
Some people are always like...man theres no good shows on TV anymore. And I say to them...just keep clicking, theres plenty good stuff to watch if you search.
Heres my Top 5 new shows from the 06-07 Season!
1.In Case Of Emergency - This sitcomtabulous ABC show featuring land of the lost like actors Jonathon Silverman, David Arquette, SMOKIN' hot Kelly Hu, Lori Loughlin, and Gregg Germann has been making me crack up for weeks now, with its 80's soundtrack and madcap plots that always mash up in an Arrested Development-esque kinda way. Definitely some potential in this one.
2.My Boys - If you haven't heard me extoll the virtues of TBS's first sitcom then you probably haven't been talking to me for the last couple months. Hotty Jordana Brewster stars in this Baseball metaphoring show as a Chicago Cubs beat writer who hangs out with all her friends... who are all dudes. And the hilarious Jim Gaffigan plays her brother. UNA MAS!
3.The Sarah Silverman Program - I always loved the majorly fucked up comedic stylings of Sarah Silverman, so I gave the show a chance...and the first episode kinda sucked. But after that it really grew on me with plots revolving around such wacked out subjects as Sarah meeting god, having relations with him, then blowing him off...her two gay neighbors (including droll Brian Posehn) becoming obsessed with TAB cola, and other assorted insanity. Its coming back for a second season already anyways so hey, what the hell?
4.30 Rock - Of course we had to save the best for last. The sitcom that gave me hope for sitcoms once more. Tina Fey as the neurotic Liz Lemon and Alec Baldwin as her domineering boss at NBC's Rockafeller Plaza. A better comedic duo hasn't been around since Cousin Larry and Cousin Balki in Perfect Strangers. But its not just the top two that make this one magical. Those two just lend a storyline to the insane backdrop of their co-workers like Tracy Morgan, ultra sexy Katie Bowden, Jane Krawkowski, Judah Friedlander, and of course the one and only Jack McBrayer as Kenneth the Page. I mean I could go on and on but just fucking do yourself a favor and watch it.
5.Well #5 isn't really a new show...just one that was recently discovered.
5.Peep Show - This british sitcom is about to enter series (season) 4 in the UK...the problem is you can't really watch it here. And thats become a mighty big problem seeing as how its one of the most fucked up and gut bustingly funny shows I've ever seen. Mark Corrigan and Jeremy 'Jez' Usbourne are flatmates and ex college buddies (formerly known as the El Dude Brothers) who can't seem to co-exist properly with the rest of society. Mark is in love with his co-worker Sophie to the point of obsession...meanwhile Jez is trying to get his electronica-pop band with buddy Super Hans (a crack addict) off the ground. And that just scratches the surface. If you like laughing then you owe it to yourself to watch this show. Season 1 is on DVD here...2 and 3 can be found on Google video. Now get to it!
Add Comment PermalinkHeres my Top 5 new shows from the 06-07 Season!
1.In Case Of Emergency - This sitcomtabulous ABC show featuring land of the lost like actors Jonathon Silverman, David Arquette, SMOKIN' hot Kelly Hu, Lori Loughlin, and Gregg Germann has been making me crack up for weeks now, with its 80's soundtrack and madcap plots that always mash up in an Arrested Development-esque kinda way. Definitely some potential in this one.
2.My Boys - If you haven't heard me extoll the virtues of TBS's first sitcom then you probably haven't been talking to me for the last couple months. Hotty Jordana Brewster stars in this Baseball metaphoring show as a Chicago Cubs beat writer who hangs out with all her friends... who are all dudes. And the hilarious Jim Gaffigan plays her brother. UNA MAS!
3.The Sarah Silverman Program - I always loved the majorly fucked up comedic stylings of Sarah Silverman, so I gave the show a chance...and the first episode kinda sucked. But after that it really grew on me with plots revolving around such wacked out subjects as Sarah meeting god, having relations with him, then blowing him off...her two gay neighbors (including droll Brian Posehn) becoming obsessed with TAB cola, and other assorted insanity. Its coming back for a second season already anyways so hey, what the hell?
4.30 Rock - Of course we had to save the best for last. The sitcom that gave me hope for sitcoms once more. Tina Fey as the neurotic Liz Lemon and Alec Baldwin as her domineering boss at NBC's Rockafeller Plaza. A better comedic duo hasn't been around since Cousin Larry and Cousin Balki in Perfect Strangers. But its not just the top two that make this one magical. Those two just lend a storyline to the insane backdrop of their co-workers like Tracy Morgan, ultra sexy Katie Bowden, Jane Krawkowski, Judah Friedlander, and of course the one and only Jack McBrayer as Kenneth the Page. I mean I could go on and on but just fucking do yourself a favor and watch it.
5.Well #5 isn't really a new show...just one that was recently discovered.
5.Peep Show - This british sitcom is about to enter series (season) 4 in the UK...the problem is you can't really watch it here. And thats become a mighty big problem seeing as how its one of the most fucked up and gut bustingly funny shows I've ever seen. Mark Corrigan and Jeremy 'Jez' Usbourne are flatmates and ex college buddies (formerly known as the El Dude Brothers) who can't seem to co-exist properly with the rest of society. Mark is in love with his co-worker Sophie to the point of obsession...meanwhile Jez is trying to get his electronica-pop band with buddy Super Hans (a crack addict) off the ground. And that just scratches the surface. If you like laughing then you owe it to yourself to watch this show. Season 1 is on DVD here...2 and 3 can be found on Google video. Now get to it!
The Words "Indefinite Hiatus" Are Really Starting To Piss Me Off
Justin, 3/14/2007 10:40:02 AM
8 Days ago I saw one of my favorite bands, Allister finally throw in the towel and announce their indefinite hiatus. Then 2 nights ago I was shocked to learn that Matchbook Romance too was to be going on indefinite hiatus.
So I joked with Mike on who was next at this rate.
Well this morning I popped on to myspace to be met by this bulletin:
We would like to announce that at end of our current headlining tour, The Early November will be taking a indefinite hiatus.
What the fuck?!?!?!
One week, three bands I love all gone!
People always ask me if I'm too old to be going to shows or telling me I go to too many shows. I always tell them I'm not going to do it anymore eventually. But I see now that I'll just stop going naturally, because all the bands I love will eventually stop playing. I mean how many albums can bands like Taking Back Sunday and Newfound Glory and Brand New make before they fall by the wayside?
So I joked with Mike on who was next at this rate.
Well this morning I popped on to myspace to be met by this bulletin:
We would like to announce that at end of our current headlining tour, The Early November will be taking a indefinite hiatus.
What the fuck?!?!?!
One week, three bands I love all gone!
People always ask me if I'm too old to be going to shows or telling me I go to too many shows. I always tell them I'm not going to do it anymore eventually. But I see now that I'll just stop going naturally, because all the bands I love will eventually stop playing. I mean how many albums can bands like Taking Back Sunday and Newfound Glory and Brand New make before they fall by the wayside?
I, for one, welcome the end of The Early November.
Add Comment PermalinkWhen The Lights Go Down and the Clocks Time Out
Mike, 3/12/2007 11:19:47 PM
As a tribute to Allister, I've collected a biographical timeline of the band:
4 Billion Years BC: Life forms on Earth
1997: A Chicago, IL high school band named Phineas Gage changes its name to Allister. Lineup: John Hamada, Tim Rogner, Eric "Skippy" Mueller
1998: Drive-thru Records releases You Can't Do That on Vinyl EP. Scotty Murphy joins the band.
11/23/1999: Dead Ends and Girlfriends, the band's first LP is released.
5/08?/2002: I see Allister for the first time along with Homegrown and Yellowcard at Fletcher's in Baltimore.
8/09/2002: Justin sees Allister for the first time at The Warped Tour in Camden. I purchase my Allister t-shirt which went on to outlive the band.
9/12/2002: Allister opens for Goldfinger with Justin in attendance.
Fall 2002: Mueller and Hamada quit Allister. They are replaced by Chris Rogner and David Rossi.
10/08/2002: Last Stop Suburbia, Allister's second LP is released, marking a high point in the band's storied career.
Early 2003: Kyle Lewis and Mike Leverence are swapped into Allister, solidifying the band's final lineup.
4/10/2003: I see Allister play in Baltimore. Fallout Boy opens.
4/12/2003: I join Justin in Philadelphia to see the same Allister tour at the infamous North Star Bar daytime show.
10/18/2003: Drive-thru invasion tour swings by the Electric Factory(Justin and I are up at the bar).
4/27/2004: Allister plays at The Krome in NJ (Justin).
7/9/2004: Allister appears in the tween romp motion picture Sleepover.
8/6/2004: Allister plays at the Warped Tour 2004 in Camden (Justin and I).
3/2005: Work begins on Before The Blackout
4/05/2005: Open for Less than Jake at the TLA (Justin).
10/11/2005: Before The Blackout, the final LP released.
10/20/2005: We catch Allister at The Ottobar in Baltimore, MD supporting the third album. The crowd is troublesomely thin.
12/07/2005: Van crash caused by black ice! No major injuries and Allister soldiers on.
9/21/2006: Justin and I see Allister for the final (?) time at the Trocadero along with Eugene (who was with me the first time I saw Allister).
11/07/2006: Allister's Japanese tour begins.
3/6/2007: Allister calls it quits. From the ashes, Scotty and Kyle start a new project called The Get Go.
19 concert tickets, a bunch of cd's, and assorted merch spread between Justin and I wasn't enough to save this humble but great band. It's not easy to cope with a world that would let a band who penned great tracks like Somewhere on Fullerton, Moper, Scratch, and Radio Player fall by the wayside but rest assured they will be warmly remembered on this even more humble website.
Hope you found this timeline enjoyable and informative.
I wrote it all down so I could scream it out loud!
Add Comment Permalink4 Billion Years BC: Life forms on Earth
1997: A Chicago, IL high school band named Phineas Gage changes its name to Allister. Lineup: John Hamada, Tim Rogner, Eric "Skippy" Mueller
1998: Drive-thru Records releases You Can't Do That on Vinyl EP. Scotty Murphy joins the band.
11/23/1999: Dead Ends and Girlfriends, the band's first LP is released.
5/08?/2002: I see Allister for the first time along with Homegrown and Yellowcard at Fletcher's in Baltimore.
8/09/2002: Justin sees Allister for the first time at The Warped Tour in Camden. I purchase my Allister t-shirt which went on to outlive the band.
9/12/2002: Allister opens for Goldfinger with Justin in attendance.
Fall 2002: Mueller and Hamada quit Allister. They are replaced by Chris Rogner and David Rossi.
10/08/2002: Last Stop Suburbia, Allister's second LP is released, marking a high point in the band's storied career.
Early 2003: Kyle Lewis and Mike Leverence are swapped into Allister, solidifying the band's final lineup.
4/10/2003: I see Allister play in Baltimore. Fallout Boy opens.
4/12/2003: I join Justin in Philadelphia to see the same Allister tour at the infamous North Star Bar daytime show.
10/18/2003: Drive-thru invasion tour swings by the Electric Factory(Justin and I are up at the bar).
4/27/2004: Allister plays at The Krome in NJ (Justin).
7/9/2004: Allister appears in the tween romp motion picture Sleepover.
8/6/2004: Allister plays at the Warped Tour 2004 in Camden (Justin and I).
3/2005: Work begins on Before The Blackout
4/05/2005: Open for Less than Jake at the TLA (Justin).
10/11/2005: Before The Blackout, the final LP released.
10/20/2005: We catch Allister at The Ottobar in Baltimore, MD supporting the third album. The crowd is troublesomely thin.
12/07/2005: Van crash caused by black ice! No major injuries and Allister soldiers on.
9/21/2006: Justin and I see Allister for the final (?) time at the Trocadero along with Eugene (who was with me the first time I saw Allister).
11/07/2006: Allister's Japanese tour begins.
3/6/2007: Allister calls it quits. From the ashes, Scotty and Kyle start a new project called The Get Go.
19 concert tickets, a bunch of cd's, and assorted merch spread between Justin and I wasn't enough to save this humble but great band. It's not easy to cope with a world that would let a band who penned great tracks like Somewhere on Fullerton, Moper, Scratch, and Radio Player fall by the wayside but rest assured they will be warmly remembered on this even more humble website.
Hope you found this timeline enjoyable and informative.
I wrote it all down so I could scream it out loud!
The Last Piece Of Allister Related News I'll Ever Post
Justin, 3/10/2007 12:00:25 PM
From Allister's myspace, and Scotty Murphy's hand:
Before we left for this last Japanese tour in October, Tim got the news that he was going to become a father. We had the whole 3 months in Japan to discuss what would become of Allister, and in the end Tim made the responsible decision to start a job that wouldn’t take him out of the country for months at a time. He wanted to be home with his girlfriend during the pregnancy, and throughout the upbringing of their child. We had already confirmed a Japanese tour for March, and since Tim has already entered the work force, we have asked his brother Chris to join us overseas. We will be booking a show in Chicago, which for all intents and purposes will be billed as our last show. I’ll post the info when it comes.
That being said, Kyle and I have started a new band called “The Get Go.” We have banned together with our good friends Nick (x-Mest), Dan (x-Homegrown), and Chris (x-Showoff). We’re really excited about the songs we’ve been writing, and we’ll be recording/posting demos in a few weeks. In the meantime, you can check us out at:
"The Get Go" Myspace
Allister has been trucking along for a good 10 years now, and in that time we’ve been fortunate enough to travel around the world playing music that we love. We’ve met so many amazing people, and I feel really fortunate to have been a part of this band… Before I get too sappy, I just want to say thanks to everyone who supported us over the years. Who knows what the future will hold, but for the time being this is just the beginning of a new chapter…
Scott Murphy and Allister
So I guess they finally reached the bitter end...will they be back? Only time will tell. But at least I can say I got to see my favorite band 10 times, and sing on stage with them at the last show....Last show...unless I go to their Chicago final...Which I might just have to do...
Wherever I go though, my heart will forever remain Somewhere On Fullerton.
Add Comment PermalinkBefore we left for this last Japanese tour in October, Tim got the news that he was going to become a father. We had the whole 3 months in Japan to discuss what would become of Allister, and in the end Tim made the responsible decision to start a job that wouldn’t take him out of the country for months at a time. He wanted to be home with his girlfriend during the pregnancy, and throughout the upbringing of their child. We had already confirmed a Japanese tour for March, and since Tim has already entered the work force, we have asked his brother Chris to join us overseas. We will be booking a show in Chicago, which for all intents and purposes will be billed as our last show. I’ll post the info when it comes.
That being said, Kyle and I have started a new band called “The Get Go.” We have banned together with our good friends Nick (x-Mest), Dan (x-Homegrown), and Chris (x-Showoff). We’re really excited about the songs we’ve been writing, and we’ll be recording/posting demos in a few weeks. In the meantime, you can check us out at:
"The Get Go" Myspace
Allister has been trucking along for a good 10 years now, and in that time we’ve been fortunate enough to travel around the world playing music that we love. We’ve met so many amazing people, and I feel really fortunate to have been a part of this band… Before I get too sappy, I just want to say thanks to everyone who supported us over the years. Who knows what the future will hold, but for the time being this is just the beginning of a new chapter…
Scott Murphy and Allister
So I guess they finally reached the bitter end...will they be back? Only time will tell. But at least I can say I got to see my favorite band 10 times, and sing on stage with them at the last show....Last show...unless I go to their Chicago final...Which I might just have to do...
Wherever I go though, my heart will forever remain Somewhere On Fullerton.
Lousy Smarch Weather
Justin, 3/1/2007 12:34:05 PM
March 1...Not just a new month, but also the beginning of a whole new season...Spring is here! And while it might yet snow a few more times here in the northeastern US, I know its Spring...and do you know how I know its Spring?
Because the Phillies kick off Spring Training in about 30 minutes with their first game against the defending AL Champion Detroit Tigers in sunny Florida.
Yet another season full of hope and dollar dog days! But with the Phillies you know never to get your hopes up TOO much, because keep this in mind folks:
"Still, the Phillies have the ignominious mark as the most losing franchise of any US major sports league (9,956) and will soon become the first professional franchise to reach 10,000 losses."
Thats right, not only do we have the most losses in BASEBALL history, but the most losses in AMERICAN SPORTS History. Even worse than the New Jersey Nets and New York Jets combined I imagine.
But we also have the NL MVP Ryan Howard, an explosive offense, a newly powerful 6 man starting rotation to pick from, and a guy who ran into a metal pole and broke his own nose and orbital bone just to catch a flyball this year...So at least we've got a shot! Go Phillies!!!!!
Add Comment PermalinkBecause the Phillies kick off Spring Training in about 30 minutes with their first game against the defending AL Champion Detroit Tigers in sunny Florida.
Yet another season full of hope and dollar dog days! But with the Phillies you know never to get your hopes up TOO much, because keep this in mind folks:
"Still, the Phillies have the ignominious mark as the most losing franchise of any US major sports league (9,956) and will soon become the first professional franchise to reach 10,000 losses."
Thats right, not only do we have the most losses in BASEBALL history, but the most losses in AMERICAN SPORTS History. Even worse than the New Jersey Nets and New York Jets combined I imagine.
But we also have the NL MVP Ryan Howard, an explosive offense, a newly powerful 6 man starting rotation to pick from, and a guy who ran into a metal pole and broke his own nose and orbital bone just to catch a flyball this year...So at least we've got a shot! Go Phillies!!!!!