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Top Ten Christmas Episodes
Justin, 12/24/2003 12:38:23 AM
Happy Holidays! In the WhatWeSayGoes.com holiday tradition I present my list of Top Ten Christmas episodes of T.V. Shows!

10.Full House --- Ever see the Christmas episode where all the Tanners are snowed in at the airport and have to celebrate the holidays there? It was just so touching...show of hands, who else misses John Stamos?

9.Married...With Children --- Classic here as Sam Kinison comes to Al as an Angel and shows him how Peggy's life would be without him in "It's A Bundyful Life."

8.The Simpsons --- "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"...not just any Christmas episode, this is it, the first full length Simpsons episode ever..the episode that launched the greatest cartoon ever on its 300 plus and counting run.

7.Family Guy --- "A Very Special Freakin' Family Guy Christmas". Great if only for the KISS saves Santa running gag and Stewie as a deranged baby Jesus.

6.Saved By The Bell --- "A Home For Christmas". Zack always got the girl on this show...but this very special episode saw him picking up a hottie at the mall who turned out to be homeless! Now its up to the gang to help them out during this very special season.

5.The Tick (Cartoon) --- "The Tick VS Multiple Santa". Dont'cha just love cartoons? This classic saw The Tick doing battle with a multiplying Santa...I won't explain any further though...too complicated.

4.The Adventures Of Pete and Pete --- "O Christmas Pete" is one of my all-time favorite episodes of one of my all-time favorite shows...Little Pete tries to make Christmas last for longer than just December 25th but this puts him at odds with Garbage Man who likes to collect all the old Christmas trees and destroy them because he hates the holidays...a hilarious boxing match ensues. Check it out if you can find it.

3.Friends --- "The One With The Holiday Armadillo". The image of Ross in his Armadillo costume trying to teach his son Ben the story of Hannukkah ("And then Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt") will forever be burned in my head...damn I'm gonna miss this show!

2.South Park --- "Red Sleigh Down". How could a show that prides itself on classic Christmas episodes (Mr. Hankey, Charley Manson) actually top itself? By sending Jesus and the kids into Iraq to rescue a MIA Santa Claus who was shot down trying to spread Christmas Cheer. This is as messed up as they come, featuring Jesus going commando all over the Iraqi's and Jimmy singing an episode long version of the 12 days of Christmas! Plus the return of Kenny!

And finally...NUMBER ONE!

1.Seinfeld --- "The Strike"...here it is faithful readers...the episode that introduced the world to Festivus...and along with it, the feats of strength, the airing of grievances, and the steel pole (the tinsel on a tree being too distracting for Mr. Costanza). Leave it to the best sitcom ever to produce the best Holiday episode ever, featuring people renouncing the holidays!
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Black Friday Postscript
Mike, 12/15/2003 12:08:50 PM
An interesting postscript to the previous story about a shopper being trampled on Black Friday, this one thanks to one Brian Davis's keen regard for free British online newspapers.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1107127,00.html
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Ideas
Mike, 12/10/2003 10:27:49 PM
If Bill Gates was a country, he'd be the 52nd richest country in the world. Why can't we come up with an idea that will make us millions and afford us the luxury of sitting around all day updating this website?

What are your best business/product ideas? I promise we won't steal them.
  • From Justin on 12/10/2003:
    Idea The First:Disposable Jackets! Ever have to wait in line in the winter to get into your favorite dance club/concert/christmas school play? We sure have! Thats why we came up with the disposable jacket! For the low low price of 5 bucks you can wear the stylish jacket until your inside the venue, then just take it off and toss it! Made up of 100% wall insulation, choose from stylish pink for the ladies, or yellow for the gents.
  • From Justin on 12/12/2003:
    Idea the second:Instead of giving away all those bourbon chicken free samples to insolent free loaders in the food court only to see them go over to Taco Bell remorselessly, I suggest this:
    Poison the the free sample! That way if they walk off without buying it, they die! If they do the right thing though, and get a meal after the sample, then they will also be rewarded with the antidote, which is conveniently poured into the meal you just bought. Karma.
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    YEAR END TIME FOLKS!
    Justin, 12/2/2003 11:50:22 PM
    Well all good things come to an end...and 2003 might not have been all that good, but its ending regardless. So you know what that means....End of the year lists of stuff!
    With the 2003 Concert fiscal year over heres the first rundown!

    Concerts:A Year's Reflection

    The Best of the Best (from the worst to the first)

    15.Sum 41/The Starting Line--Good set from the line, Sum 41 was OK, didn't know much of their stuff though. Not knowing a bands music leads to not enjoying it as much.

    14.Good Charlotte/Newfound Glory/Less Than Jake ---Too many kids and too much playing to the crowd by the not ready for prime time concerts Newfound Glory lead to an eh show. There was better to come from GC though.

    13.Something Corporate/RX Bandits/Mae/Days Away ---Days Away were pretty good, just not really punky. Mae sickened us by having Kenny the egomaniacal Starting Line frontman join them. RX Bandits really rocked it hard, though didn't play the one song of theirs we knew for no reason. SOCO was awesome, but killed the concerts momentum with an overlong slow song set in the middle and not ending with "iF U C jordan".

    12.Bon Jovi/Jason Mraz/Pete Yorn --- Mraz and Yorn stunk up the really big joint. But Bon Jovis tour ender at home venue Giants Stadium, was an anthemic rocking kick ass time. Classic songs mixed with a tour ending fireworks display was unforgettable...Not like our horrible upper deck seats.

    11.Lollapalooza 2003 --- The good:Incubus and Audioslave were just COMPLETELY AWESOME. Audioslave's incendiary set brought the house down, especially during a cover of the White Stripes "7 Nation Army". Queens of the Stone Age also rocked, much better then when I saw them last year. The Bad: The Distillers, Jurassic 5, and The Donnas were sucky. 2 of The Donnas were hot though. The Ugly:All the hideous overweight girls getting body painted. Me missing Jane's Addiction.

    10.Drive Thru Records Invasion Tour --- You just saw our review not too long ago so heres the quick recap:Senses Fail scream too much but good guitaring, Early November need lots of work, Allister should have headlined, Homegrown rules but needs a more varied set, Starting Line have gone mad with power but I still like their music.

    9.Y100 Feastival 2003 --- Smile Empty Soul performed their pseudo Nu Metal pretty well, Dashboard Confessional disappointed with a short and badly chosen set, Offspring just RULED and justified all the years I've waited to see them, and 311 was pretty good even though I knew not their songs well.

    8.Reel Big Fish/The Pietasters --- Wacky college auditorium venues rule. The Pietasters don't. But RBF and their lead singer and lead trombonists comedic interplay do. Great set. All I Wanted Was More.

    7.Skate&Surf Fest '03 (Day 1) --- The distance to the venue was pretty annoying, but the 3 day punk festival had to be seen to be believed. Andrew WK was a truly fun, energetic set. The Starting Line did their usual thing and sucked up to New Jersey at the same time. The Used really blew even though the lead singer could do a standing backflip. Goldfinger are always fuckin awesome.

    6.Dashboard Confessional/MxPx/Brand New --- Brand New took a short opening set and made me an instant fan, impressing to no end. MxPx were ok, just not into them. Not getting to the balcony area sucked (No. But, why? No.) Dboards set was pretty cool incorporating both new, old, jams, and covers, but too many kids in the crowd bugged me.

    5.Reel Big Fish/Homegrown --- Homegrown also took an opening set gig and turned me into a fan with an energetic kickin' set of songs including a fun cover of "Barbie Girl". RBF then proceeded to play for over an hour, long into the night, pleasing me and the crowd with more comedic ramblings and a scorching set finisher of "Beer".

    4.Good Charlotte/Goldfinger/MesT --- An undersold floor and a young crowd meant me and Mike could force our way to the very very front in mere seconds for Goldfingers tragically short set. The end of which saw me catching Dangerous Darrin's Drumstick! Good Charlotte also brought it to the hometown show, playing half their first album and all their second album expertly. Plus Mest were mercifully short and prompted flashing in the crowd. Good show.

    3.Pearl Jam/The Buzzcocks --- Had I not been on the frikkin lawn, then this would probably have taken the number one spot...As it is, seeing PJ play "Rockin In The Freeworld" While a fireworks display lit up the Deleware river was an awesome sight and getting to hear "Breath" and "Yellow Ledbetter" just made my fuckin day.

    2.Saves The Day/Taking Back Sunday/Moneen --- Just wrote this one up too, but man oh man. I'll remember Adam going crazy on stage and the crowd going crazy in the pit for years to come. Plus STD always plays a great set (even if they don't play "Shoulder To The Wheel").

    1.Allister/Don't Look Down/Fallout Boy --- This was the smallest most insignificant concert we went too all year, taking place in a podunk bar in the middle of the day. Quite telling that it was the best show we saw all year, isn't it? Being right up close as the sweat flew and the music flowed just mere feet away kicked some major ass. Plus we got to know Scottie!


    2003 Concerts By The Numbers:
    50 Performances
    42 Bands
    10 Venues (Electric Factory, Tweeter Center, 1st Mariner Arena, Roseland Ballroom, Asbury Park Convention Center, Johns Hopkins University, Patriot Center, Croc Rock, Giants Stadium, North Star Bar)
    Across 5 States (Pennsylvania, Virginia, New Jersey, New York, Maryland)
    With 6 Different People (Missy, Mike, Irene, Joe, Connie, Jess)
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    Whats In A Name
    Justin, 12/1/2003 06:46:09 PM
    A simple question, right? Well I'm here to tell you that as apparent and simple as most names are, that its not so obvious.
    My name is Justin Kutcher. Simple enough, right?
    Well not to some people. But lets dissect it, shall we?
    First theres Justin. Now I don't know whats so hard about Justin. Simple to say, simple to spell. Theres a big freakin' T right in the middle. Theres no A and theres no O. So do you know what that means? MY NAMES NOT MOTHERFUCKING JASON! So why is it that I've been called Jason ad naseum, by among other people: my own Uncle, my girlfriends family, clients, and assorted others! Have you ever heard motherfucking Justin Timberlake be mistakenly called Jason Timberlake? I sure as fuck haven't. Now onto the second half. Last name. Kutcher. Easy enough. It's just Butcher with a K. Do you see an L in there? How bout an N? Nope, I don't either! So how is it, that sometimes I'm Kutchler or Kutchner? Hell even my Mom's on boss just the other week spelled her name...K-U-T-C-H-E-R, Then actually pronounced it Kutchner! What the fuck!?!?
    Now maybe if my name was hard to pronounce like Michniewicz or Schwarzenegger I'd be more forgiving. But its not. So I'm not. So if you ever see me or talk to me or even refer to me, and your having trouble saying such a complicated name, just call me Max Power, or Flex Strongo, or Sex-Lord Cool and save me the anger.
    And before I forget, before you see or hear my name and then ask me, YES I AM RELATED TO ASHTON KUTCHER!
    Just kidding. You've just been Punk'd sucka.
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