My sister came home tonight for Thanksgiving break, and when I came downstairs I found the following message on my computer waiting for me:



here's a fucking top ten for you.

TOP TEN FUCKING REASONS THIS BASEMENT SUCKS MY ASS DUE TO JUSTIN ADAM KUTCHER:

10. Yes, there is a television down here, but how can anyone watch anything when JUSTIN IS ALWAYS TEVO-ING STUPID PROGRAMS SUCH AS EXTREME DODGEBALL THREE, now is that REALLY necessary??

9. A roomy basement? Yeah, but g-d forbid you try and type a paper on the desk... your pages might get lost between the spiderman figurine, cds, dvds, phillies hat that probably held icecream at one point, the three bottles of water (all half drank), the candle that never has been openned, tv controller (that obvioulsy has no use due to justin's stupid love of tevo), snow globe, phone, snapple tops so justin can annoyingly pop them as he did when he was 10 if i do recall, fortunes from fortune cookies, sports illustrated calendar, camera, binders, random change, guitar picks, twenty-fucking-million pens and pencials, and my g-d man- the trash in that stupid fucking simpsons trash basket.

8. i hate celebrity cutouts. they are all mom and dad's fault.

7. i STILL can't watch tv.

6. my bat mitzvah picture is covered up by the computer desk.

5. all of the fucking stupid cartoon figurines. they are stupid.

4.

3.

2. The speakers attached to this nice computer. they are two inches by two inches and are probably from the first computer ever made, they are stupid and ugly, just like you.

1. THIS COMPUTER BECAUSE HE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT SO MUCH RANDOM STUPID STUFF ON IT THAT IF YOU PRESS A KEY, YOU MIGHT GET TO WHERE YOU WANT TEN MINUTES LATER IF YOU ARE LUCKY. he is STUPID. i hate this computer more than life. you have smart friends, make them fix it, you dumbass.


i had to skip 3 and 4 because the computer started not doing anything.... hence, you suck. catch ya later. love always, your beautiful sister- brittany


Well...the remote IS the TIVO remote, so it wasn't TOTALLY accurate.

Ever year I say I'm done, and every year I get sucked back in. Still too early to tell if I'll be sucking again next year, but heres the bands that have already been confirmed for Warped Tour 2006:

Thursday
Rise Against
NoFx
Motion City Soundtrack
From First To Last

Also in the interest of me having nothing better to do, I checked the Skate and Surf Fest/Bamboozle sites this morning as well and found something ominous on the Bamboozle's site:

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT
TUESDAY AT 5PM.

So if I remember I'll look into that. But as of right now my retirement for intense concert going remains for 2006, and the only bands that will have me buying tickets right away are Brand New, Jack's Mannequin...and Billy Joel. (?)

How does one judge a week? Does it start on a Monday when the work week starts? Or maybe it really starts on a Friday night when the weekend begins. Or maybe trying to measure something cyclical like a week is stupid to begin with. At any rate my past 7 days have probably been exciting (or at least some might call it that). Lets review, shall we?

Friday - Dane Cook show at the Sovereign Bank Arena was extremely hilarious. Everyone I know was all like Dane Cook is awesome. So when I heard he was coming to town I was like I better go check him out, and I was not disappointed. His opener was ok, until he did a bit about myspace, and then he became hilarious briefly. Cook himself has one of the best deliveries and speaking tones I've ever heard. He also peppered his comedic observations about friends who think up bad inventions, the Kool-Aid guy, smashing treats into kids faces, and waving people into traffic with a liberal amount of Star Wars references and sexual innuendos. Good stuff, check out his CD's. I also had the privelege of being stuck in traffic with Joe, Jamie, and Phil where I heard perhaps the funniest story I've EVER heard from Phil, and hopefully he will post it here...

Saturday - Me and Mike got Derailed with the smoldering Jennifer Aniston and checked out The Weather Man with Nic Cage...Reviews to follow.

Sunday - Me and my college buddy Mike Peters went down to the Electric Factory to check in on what Coheed And Cambria have been up too lately. Besides picking bad tourmates (the offputting mewithoutYou, Dredg, who were OK, and the ABOMINABLE, AWFUL, JUST SIMPLY FUCKING TERRIBLE Blood Brothers who did a 20 minute feedback solo. Friggin horrid.) they have been working on their rocking out, their solos, and their overall stage show. Yes thats right, CO&CA had among other things, a 30 foot guillotine, a giant angel, some holographic doors and windows, and projections of their wacky symbol all over the place. Their epic hour and a half set also saw Claudio alternating between rocking on a DOUBLE GUITAR and a vicious looking almost Flying V guitar...They also ripped up a solo on The Final Cut for 15 FREAKING MINUTES! That band tears it up. Check the setlist section for full info.

Tuesday - I ran into my friend Ray at Coheed and he was like I have extra tickets to All-American Rejects/Rooney/The Academy Is... and I was all like, I'm in! So I went back to the Factory with him, Kay, and new friends Remy and Tom..they were all there to see local band The Jealousy Curve open as they had won a national contest to get the opener slot on the tour. They were quite the impressive band, and I definitely reccommend checking them out. TAI... were awesome as usual, doing 7 of the ten songs off their debut album, and the crowd was REALLY into them. These guys might make it up into TRL territory soon enough. Rooney was also entertaining playing some new songs off their forthcoming album, along with the good stuff from their last cut with the exception of "Popstars", which was a surprise omission. They also started polling the crowd on Pat's and Geno's, which the singer from All-American Rejects would continue to do later. Speaking of which AAR really impressed me with their energetic stage show and catchy tunes. I found myself bopping along to "My Paper Heart" just this morning in the car. If you ever see AAR live I can definitely say you'll get your moneys worth in the entertainment department. Check out their new CD.
After the show we went next door to Whiskey Dix to hang out because Kay and Ray wanted to talk to their buddies in The Jealousy Curve, who eventually came over with the lead singer of TAI, who looked very confused and malnourished. All in all good times were had. So that was my week. No wait.

Wednesday - Watched the episodes of My Name Is Earl (Hey Crabman!) and The Office (of course I saw The Apprentice last night, its on every Thursday night.) that I missed Tuesday. Damn I love those two shows so much...can't wait until Scrubs comes back to join them. Then my sitcom life will be complete once again.

Today I hit the chain restaurants in force: Ruby Tuesdays for lunch, Red Lobster for dinner.

Round 1.
Our original plan brought us to Red Robin but a perfect storm of the lunch hour and Veteran's Day resulted in a 20 minute wait that was unacceptable for Justin, since he was on his lunch hour. That brought us to the desolate Ruby Tuesdays close by. At first, we were amazed by their new (?) menu. Sporting a burger on the cover viciously skewered by a steak knife, it screamed flavor and attitude! It had the full gamut: poppers, sliders, shooters, and shakes. I selected the Ruby Sliders which, to the uninitiated, are Ruby Tuesday's take on White Castle burgers. They were actually pretty tasty and felt not unlike a brick in my stomach. With the right amount of honey mustard sauce, I was able to consume the somewhat heated fries. Downside: this simple order of food took about a half hour to come out spelling potential disaster for my workbound colleague.

Round 2.
Went to Red Lobster with my parents. I decided to turn conventional wisdom on its head and got the grilled rainbow trout instead of fried shrimp and lobster tail. After inhaling those butter biscuit things and a salad, I found the fish to be quite passable. I wouldn't say I was tasting the rainbow, but it wasn't too bad... a real chargrilled taste with a hint of lemon and pepper. Again the service was somewhat slow and I drank two full ice teas before my food came out.

Thanks corporate America, for this aggressively positive take on mediocrity! I'll be dining again soon once my stomach stops gurgling.

It began in 2001, with but a simple dream. Get out and find the cheapest things available to consumers for 6 hours the day after Thanksgiving to give as Christmas presents. DVD players were only (only!) 70 dollars that year! Plus there was a shitty Brad Pitt movie to be seen (Spy Games)!
In 2002, the dream became a little convoluted...Shopping and a Saves The Day concert!
By 2003, it was lets go out and buy everything we can for ourselves while its on sale. But somewhere around the 17th hour or so of our epic over 24 hour long ordeal that included 3 flicks (Bad Santa, Timeline, and Love Actually), and 3 malls (all this sandwiched between 2 concerts (Something Corporate and Y100 FEASTival featuring The Offspring, 311, and Dashboard Confessional)and a huge Thanksgiving day feast) it became more about the spectacle.
With 2004 came a simple question? How do we top that? Well with early morning department store chaos AND 5 Movies in One Day (Christmas With The Kranks/Bridget Jones 2/Spongebob Squarepants The Movie/Finding Neverland/National Treasure)...plus guest star RJ Hagerman and cameos by many more.
In the intervening time between 04 and the upcoming 5th anniversary of this websites continuing coverage and boosting of Black Friday, the new question was what can we do this time to make it a more overall enjoyable experience?
Well the answer was obvious...take what we have learned from our favorite "holiday" and use positives. We have learned many things...like if you stay up all night you will be falling asleep by 2pm! Don't get fettered down by shoppers who either A)Can't keep up with you, or B)Slow you down with too much browsing on this day of kill or be killed in the electronics aisle. We've had live music, movies, and long fucking lines. And we've taken this knowledge and crafted out a sort of "Best of Black Friday" montage that we hope will bring something to me that seems almost alien at this point...Satisfaction. So join us, won't you, as we celebrate 5 glorious years of ill advised (and mostly unnecessary)shopping, moviewatching, rioting over DVD players on sale and the wasting of gas. I present to you, our faithful readers the tentative schedule.

November 25, 2005:
Black Friday 5:
Good Michael I'm Burning Star Volume 5: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness In Best Buy

(Schedule Subject To Change...)
6:00 AM - Target and or Best Buy (Decided by Circular Thanksgiving Day, pre-dinner)
7:00 AM - Circuit City and or ???
8:00 AM - BKFST/Oxford Valley Mall ---->RT 1
9:00 AM - 10:00 AM Neshaminy Mall----------->PATP
10:10 AM - 11:10 AM Willow Grove Mall------->PATP
11:20 AM - 12:20 PM Montgomeryville Mall---->PATP
12:30 PM - 1:30 PM Plymouth Meeting Mall---->PATP
1:45 PM - King Of Prussia Mall...meet up w/Mr. Yum
3:00 PM (approx) - Just Friends @KOP UA
5:00 PM - Dinner/
7:00 PM - Break...???
10:00 PM - 2:00 AM - Finnigans Wake for drinking and live music with rocking cover band The Loop

Stay tuned for more info...

If you're taking a read through my movie reviews, you may notice that I often rate indie movies higher than major studio releases. While I offer no apologies for this, I would like to tender an explanation.

It's not that any given indie movie is better than any given studio movie on average, the problem is this: I only go see indie movies that I hear will be good, however I see major movies whether I think they will be good or not. Perhaps if I just went to see every indie movie that was out at my local arthouse, things would even out. I don't really think I'm at the point in my life where I should be going to see every single indie movie though. So for now, I'll just be seeing the indie movies I think will be good and saturating the rest of my viewing time with whatever shlock Hollywood can dish out. My ratings may seem unbalanced, but the price of evening it all out is to great for some to pay...