Day 5 (Sunday)
Checking out of the Hilton Metropole, it was time to mosey on back to London Heathrow airport for the return to Dublin. Anytime you go to Heathrow by the way, keep in mind that there aren't any London souvenir shops there, and buy your stuff BEFORE you go to the airport. After a lovely flight during which I chatted up a foxy Irish college girl to get info on the primo bar spots, we landed in a beautifully rainy Emerald Isle and bussed off to the beautiful Dublin Westin (right across from the happenin' bar area of Temple Bar).
After a hotel inspection, we went to the Mint Bar in the basement for some cocktail demonstrations (Irish Coffee and an Emerald Crush). We also met up with some of Madeline's local friends, 2 of which had been Au Pairs(!) of hers when they came to the states.
It was then time to go out to Temple Bar and see the Pubs. Laura, Evelyn, and I went to a crazy American themed restaurant called Thunder Road Cafe, and witnessed 20 teenaged girls standing on chairs and doing the YMCA, and Grease dances to celebrate a bday. This was apparently normal here. For dinner I had a Heineken, and a Prime Rib Sandwich called "The Slice Of The Beast" TM. This is probably where my stomach problems started in retrospect.
After dinner we headed back two pubs down to the Auld Dubliner and rejoined the main bulk of the middle aged lady brigade in drinking pints. I also got to witness most of them hitting on a group of 20 something German guys who were there and barely spoke english. Fun stuff. When the pub closed, a few of us headed down the strip to Fitzsimons dance club to boogey down...there was also a creepy dude who appeared to be dancing near us because of me, and not the females. This seemed kind of strange to me. After that we went back to the hotel, and I went to sleep.

Day 6 (Monday)
Hotel inspections were the order of the day today, as we hit The Westbury, The Merrion (beautiful hotel, and where Bruce Springsteen, Pierce Brosnan, and P. Diddy among others stay when they are in town) where we also got lunch, and The Burlington for some more Irish Coffees.
After being set free for the afternoon we set off walking back towards Temple Bar area, walking through the really pretty St. Stephen Green park, and Grafton Street (where we helped some old ladies from Alabama find their hotel).
My group also started missing real food, so it was decided to stop at Burger King for some lunch. Shopping some more was interrupted when a big crowd was noticed outside of department store Brown Thomas...the reason for the crowd? Why Elizabeth Hurley doing a breast cancer awareness ribbon lighting of course. I went into the store and was in there while Liz (looking smokin hot by the way) gave her speech out front, and the rest of my group remained outside and we got seperated. Liz was then taken through a side entrance of the store and not through the front where I was, and escaped out the back. I waited out back anyway though, because Jeri Ryan was also there! After about 20 minutes of waiting however, I became bored and left, heading back towards my hotel, even though I had no idea where I was. Getting directions from street walkers I stumbled upon a comic book shop and went in, but found most of the items overpriced compared to home and didn't buy anything. Eventually I managed to get back to my hotel, where some of my friends were in the lobby checking out the better pictures of Elizabeth Hurley that they got.
Next on the agenda was a trip for several of us to the U2 owned hotel The Clarence, and some drinks in their bar, The Octagon Bar (I had a wacky but delicious Apple Strudel Martini). It was pretty boring there. So next we went off to the oldest pub in Dublin, The Brazen Head pub. We drank and ate some food and admired the Dollar Bill Covered walls. Pretty cool place, and the food is actually really decent (split some Fish And Chips with someone).
After awhile of sitting there most of us once again trekked back towards Temple Bar when I was struck by the fact that my bladder was going to explode (Smithwicks). I tried to get the group to go into the next pub I saw, but Laura proclaimed that pub looked boring, so we kept walking. This proved pretty fortuitous. I proclaimed I was going to go into the next bar no matter what, and we ended up at Farrington's where we heard a guitarist playing some tunes. Running in to the bathroom and saving my body, as I came out I noticed Evelyn was there and indeed the rest of our buddies happened to be in this bar. Madelines OTHER Au Pair having taken them there, we made ourselves the lives of the Pub. I ended up dancing while wearing a feather boa for some reason. The guitarist was awesome, banging out "Don't Look Back In Anger", and "I Would Walk 500 Miles" to end his set. Then I got the crowd into a ONE MORE SONG chant, and he obliged with "an American hit" and went into Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire" (so I screamed I saw a movie about that guy, and he replied we all did.). We also re-met up with three rich Irish real estate guys that the others met earlier in the day when I split with them for Elizabeth Hurley. These guys informed me that Jeri Ryan was not Jeri Ryan of The OC and Star Trek:Voyager, but an Irish dude who is a DJ, Jerry Ryan. So I had waited around for 20 minutes to see a dude. And then they made fun of me.
Following the close of Farrington's, it was decided not to end the night....no no. So 6 of the Liberty peoples, led by the Au Pair and the 3 local dudes, were taken to the middle of Dublin, to the underground dance club known as Copper Face Jack's. Me having to go to the bathroom again, and walking for lord knows how long through Dublin, flipping out that I was going to a dance club 2 nights in a row. When we arrived the 3 guys paid for everyone to get in, and then I sprinted off into the club to find the Lou. Mistaking the signs for it, I ran through one pair of doors, up some stairs, and then opened another door to find myself back outside. I turned around where a guy was like "You know you just went out the fire doors?" And I screamed "Wheres the bathroom?? I'm american!" Then he pointed me in the right direction. And I made it. Just barely.
We had a grand time as the only non Irish people in the club, dancing to some current hits, and then some "Summer Of 69", "Livin On A Prayer", and "Mr. Jones". There was even some Irish jigging! After awhile of being amongst some reeking Irish guys in an underground club however, it was decided to call it a night. So we walked ALLLLLL the way back. And I went to sleep at 3:00 am. Great great night~!

Day 7 (Tuesday)
Waking up about 4 and a half hours later, it was time for some more hotel inspections. I literally don't remember the first hotel we went too, as I was half asleep. We finally finished with The Temple Bar hotel itself, and then we were freed from any remaining working duties. So it was time to sightsee!
First stop:Trinity College, for a look at the Book Of Kells. The College itself was gorgeous and had a bunch of really cool architecture, and really nice, very green public areas full of hot coeds. The library walk through after the Book Of Kells itself was also pretty amazing with thousands of really really old books to look at (but not touch). Following Trinity a group of us went to a little Trattoria called Pacino's Pizza for some lunch and shopped around a little before jumping on the Hop On Hop Off Bus Tour.
Stops were made at the lame Dublin Castle, and a driveby of St. Paul's Cathedral. Then we arrived at the Guinness factory. We went through the large gift shop area, but decided against taking the rip-off unguided factory tour in favor of the Jameson Whiskey Tour.
Getting back on the Bus for the trip over, we were shushed by the Bus' tour guide who looked like the dude from Poltergeist 2. We also froze a bit as we were on the top of the open air bus and taking on much wind.
The Jameson tour was pretty cool, and the guide was hilarious, so I definitely reccommend this one. Erica from our group even got picked to be one of the Whiskey taste testers. I also enjoyed two Jameson and Cokes, which were very good.
After a little shopping it was back to the Brazen Head for dinner for the benefit of those who hadn't been there before. I was falling asleep at the table and feeling pretty gnarly though, so after eating (actually had a delicious Seafood Chowder soup and Spring Rolls with Chips), I went back to the hotel for a shower. And to search for some Immodium (which no store seemed to carry).
I thought my night was over, but then I ran into Lorin in the lobby and headed back out with her Laura, Penny, and Lynne to the Temple Bar itself. There I was entertained by some autentic Irish dittys like "Whiskey In The Jar" and struck by how common it was that pretty much everyone was drunk and singing loudly in every bar...what a great place. We went back to the hotel for one last nightcap in the Mint Bar (where I got my free Silly Goose), and then my trip abroad was pretty much over. Sigh.

Day 8 (Wednesday)
Waking up at 5:55 AM sucks. Me and the other 3 Philly area agents left for Dublin airport around 6:30 am, and then I slept in the terminal for awhile before our flight. I also thought I had lost my boarding pass when we were in line to board the plane, and as I was running through the terminal looking for it, I felt it moving in the sleeve of my jacket, where I had put it just minutes before.
Then we landed in Paris, where we almost missed our connection in the nightmarish airport waiting to get through security and being bussed around to different terminals as they did construction. We actually got on our plane on the runway from our bus. Don't go to this place. It is terrible.
On the plane I sat in the very last row and was presented with a gross indian vegetarian meal, because one lady with us had ordered it, and they accidentally assigned it to 3 of us. After complaining a bit and refusing to eat it however I was presented with a First Class meal of my choice(!), which was of course delicious. I spent the rest of my flight finishing my book, watching Nacho Libre and cartoons, and being sad that I had to get back to real life.
After going through customs and picking up my bags however, I arrived in the waiting area to find out that my girlfriend Michelle had come to surprise me! Wasn't that nice of her? Then I found my car, paid my 136.00 dollar parking fee, and drove back off towards whence I came.

Thanks for joining me on this look back on my fantastical trip. I hope you learned something, and I hope it inspired you to want to go to Europe with me in the future. Top o' the morning to ye.

Day 1-2 (Wednesday - Thursday)
i arrived at philadelphia airport in a panic after leaving late and bypassing a traffic jam by driving through the city. The result being my parking directly at the airport ...for 17 bucks a day. I'll have fun with that when I get back.
After my traditional preflight Burger King Chicken Sandwich, I board my flight, which turns out to be a 9 row prop plane, and meet the other 3 Philadelphia region agents going. Then it was off to JFK.
At JFK, I hung out with Agent Kim in the Sam Adams bar and watched the Mets playoff game...we also got to witness a crazy man curse, ask people where they were flying, and ask the bartender if she was pregnant (she obviously wasn't). After we went to the terminal and met more of the group, I was christened Iceman, due to my desire to go to the ICEBAR. 6 hours, half a book, and no sleep later, I was in Dublin, Ireland!
It was here, on our connection flight to London, that our group ran afoul of a whole bevy of unintelligible Northern Irish Soccer Hooligans, the loudest of which sat in front of me on the plane. I then managed to fall asleep for almost that whole flight somehow.
Arriving in London, I picked up some Pounds at the airport and we headed back to the Hilton London Metropole Hotel for a quick debriefing with the whole 30 agent group.
Now interesting things started happening. I finally got to do some sightseeing, as Madeline, Evelyn, and I went to Piccadilly Circus and lunched at a local chain called Garfunkels. Then we rode the London Eye, and shopped at Harrod's, where I picked up a Penguin Ice Cream scooper.
That night we had a dinner and presentation by our tour hosts Globus, and then mostly everyone who had arrived with me elected to go to sleep.
I was having none of this so I went out on the town with the people who had arrived the night before. Finally I was able to realize my month long dream of going to IceBar London! After 40 minutes of deep freeze and vodka shooters, we went to another Pub we stumbled across (no idea the name of it), and had some pints until closing time. Then we took the tube home and I finally went to sleep after being awake for over 30 hours...Which is probably how long it took you to read all that stuff.

Day 3 (Friday)
After awakening, I went on down to my favoritist thing ever...BREAKFAST BUFFET! With full Omelette Bar! I endulged in an egg white omelette, hash browns, a chocolate croissant and other assorted foodstuffs, before our Globus provided city tour.
The tour itself was awesome, and presided over by an English Blue Badge (a kind of historian there), named Mick, who looked like Michael Caine and wore a bowler hat. The tour stopped at St. Pauls Cathedral, where we went into the crypts (pretty cool place), Buckingham Palace (where the changing of the guard was cancelled, but we did manage to see the guards riding on horseback), The Texas Embassy (a Tex-Mex restaurant), and drove by Covent Garden, Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, and many of the other famous London landmarks.
After a cocktail lunch in the highest restaurant in London (Nippon Tuk Japanese restaurant on the 24th floor of our hotel), we did some lame hotel inspections. We did also have a High Tea at the Royal Horseguards hotel....I had clotted cream on a Scones with jam...Mighty tasty.
After we got back some of my cohorts and I went out into the city and walked towards the meeting place for the Jack The Ripper walking tour. We saw Marble Arch, and did some souvenir shopping. Before we got to the mega cool ultra modern hotel _____ which I would reccommend for someone looking for something funky.
The Jack The Ripper tour was kinda cool, even if it was a little underwhelming. There was nobody following us, and no fake corpses or anything, but our tour guide was really into it, plus he had a lamp he carried around to guide us. Following the tour, we dined on Fish and Chips at the Albert Pub, and then went back to the hotel to decide where to go next. While we were at the Lobby Bar drinking and deciding where to go, I realized that all the bars and pubs had already closed, so we just kept drinking in the Lobby Bar. Drunken middle aged ladies are funny to me.

Day 4 (Saturday)
I awoke and showered, intending to be downstairs at 9:40 to meet up for my Windsor/Stonehenge/Bath tour. Then at 9:20 Madeline called my room and was like where are you, the meeting time was 9:20...oops. After sprinting downstairs, we got on the bus and then had to wait awhile. So I went across the street to the market and bought up another choco croissant for breakfast, a new disposable camera, and the hot british version of FHM magazine, with topless pictures of ultra hotty Keely Hazell. Then we were bussed to the bus terminal where we had to get on our tour bus. Our tour guide was a crazy man who we nicknamed Captain Ahab, and at times he took away someones food on the bus, threatened to not stop for lunch because we weren't filling out the meal pre-order form quick enough for him, yelled at someone to "Get up the hill!" faster, and was just a general jackass overall.
The ride to Windsor Palace was relatively quick, and we did the cool walkthrough tour seeing many royal treasures. Towards the end of the tour Laura, Teri, and I stopped to watch the changing of the Windsor Palace guards and I got seperated and found myself trapped inside. Fearing the bus and Ahab would leave without me, I sprinted out, through the town, and back to the bus parking lot without getting to buy anything.
Our next stop was the Stonehenge Inn pub for lunch, where I found the only microbrewed beer I saw the whole trip, "They Think Its All Over Ale", which I ate with my swell Roast Beef Lunch. Following that we arrived at Stonehenge, where everyone was suitably amazed.
Our next and last stop was the cool city of Bath, for a tour of the Roman Baths. Bath is a cool little town with much shopping and things to see. They were filming a Jane Austen movie in the town square while we were there, and someone said Scarlett Johansson was in it, but this turned out to be false after I asked one of the movieworkers, who did not know who she was. After that I quickly lost interest in the movie.
I also got a hat from a cool local clothing company called PlainLazy (check them out www.plainlazy.com). Following a 2 hour 15 minute ride back, we jumped right on the tub to go back to the London Eye, because Laura hadn't ridden it yet, but we got there and it was sold out until closing. So then we tubed over to view the Tower Bridge and the Tower Of London, which were also closed, and also cool to look at.
It was then decided we would return to the IceBar because Laura had also not gone there yet. We went over but the next couple admissions were sold out and we were advised to come back at 11 or so. So we went 2 doors down to an EXCELLENT little Italian Bistro called La Locunda. Good prices, and the food was out of this world. Some of the best Fettuccini Alfredo I've ever had. And the Tiramisu was friggin orgasmic. We then went back to ICEBAR, and got in for about 20 minutes. Man that place rules...a bar...made of ice!
We followed this up by going back to Piccadilly (the cleaner, more low key London version of Times Square) and went to the St. James pub. We hung out with a Stag (bachelor) party, sang some Queen (DON'T STOP ME NOW!), and I drank pints of Carlings until closing time. Then we did the greatest thing ever at my insistance, and hired two bike rickshaw drivers to race the 4 of us (Me and Laura VS Madeline and Evelyn) to a tube stop. We almost got hit by a bus! It was amazing! The tubes were all closed by this time however, and I was drunk, so I went into McDonald's to pee while they all hired a cab to take us back to the hotel. I love London!
This ends part 1, the England portion of my post. Join me in Part 2, as I pour over my trip to Dublin, Ireland, also in excruciating detail.

Soooooooooooo I am come home from my rocking trip to London, England and Dublin, Ireland and they certainly like to drink over there. Of course I'll give a full trip breakdown soon, but heres something to whet your appetite: a nearly comprehensive list of everything I drank while I was gone!

Day 1 - 1 Budweiser (in the Sam Adams Bar at JFK)

Day 2 - 1 Carling Beer (with lunch)
1 Pint, Budweiser (with dinner)
2 Icy River Shooters (at the London IceBar)
1 Pint of Sullivans (at some Pub)

Day 3 - 1 Pint Carling (at Alberts Pub for Dinner)
2 Pints of Stella Artois (at the lobby bar)
1/2 Vodka Matini (also at lobby bar..tasted like motoroil)

Day 4 - 1 They Think Its All Over (A microbrew ale I got with lunch at the Stonehenge Inn, only microbrewed beer I Saw like the whole trip I think)
2 Glasses of Wine (with dinner)
1 Icy River Shooter (return to the IceBar)
2-3? Carling Pints (at the St. James Pub in Piccadilly Circus)

Day 5 - 3 Shots Of Baileys (free in the airport Duty Free Shop
1 Emerald Crush mixed drink (at the Mint Bar in the Westin Dublin)
1 Heineken (with dinner at a crazy American themed chain restaurant called Thunder Road Cafe)
3(?)Pints of Schmitticks (at the Auld Dubliner)
1 Pint of Schmitticks (at Fitzsimons Dance Club)

Day 6 - 1 Glass of Wine (at lunch at The Merrion)
1 Apple Strudel Martini (at the Octagon Bar in U2's hotel, The Clarence)
2 Pints of Schmitticks (at the Brazen Head Pub, oldest Pub in Dublin)
2 Pints of Schmitticks (at Farrington's Pub in Temple Bar)
1 Budweiser (at underground dance club Copper Face Jacks)

Day 7 - 2 Jameson Whiskey and Cokes (at the Jameson Factory after the tour)
1 Pint of Schmitticks (back at Brazen Head)
and finally, 1 Silly Goose Martini (back at the hotel Mint Bar, a 15 euro priced Grey Goose Martini that the bartender said was on him, but I couldn't get the special Grey Goose Ltd Edition Martini Glass because of that)


well that sums it all up that I can remember...and everyone always says that the beer is stronger there, but I don't think it really was, because I wasn't totally blitzed the entire time. At any rate I had a jolly good time and I'll do the full breakdown later on today or tomorrow with pictures! Until then, this is Justin...drying out.

You know what I'm talking about. That fucking weird little girl who says "It's the mirrors" in her weird fucking little girl voice-- this commercial is on during every commercial break during a football game. And what is with that elephant that shows up for no reason during that one commercial? Nobody cares! I'm not gonna buy a $2000 tv because some fucking weird girl assures me the picture is good because of "the mirrors".

Well loyal, nonexistent readers, Justin has gone abroad for a week to oversee the opening of WhatWeSayGoes offices in London and Ireland. Until he returns, it looks like it's up to me to take a more active role in the maintenance of this website. So uhm, uh. Uhhh... carry on.