... for people with unlimited budget, or girls with blond hair:

1. The Bride (Kill Bill)
2. Unicron (Transformers: The Movie)
3. Bantha (Return of the Jedi)
4. Trojan Horse
5. Bender (Futurama)

2 excerpts from Chuck Klosterman's "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs":

"...We all convince ourselves of things like this-not necessarily about Say Anything, but about any fictionalized portrayals of romance that happen to hit us in the right place, at the right time. This is why I will never be completely satisfied by a woman, and this is why the kind of woman I tend to find attractive will never be satisfied by me. We will both measure our relationship against the prospect of fake love."


"Pundits are always blaming TV for making people stupid, movies for desensitizing the world to violence, and rock music for making kids take drugs and kill themselves. These things should be the least of our worries. The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy. There is no "normal", because everybody is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously. You can't compare your relationship with the playful couple who lives next door, because they're probably modeling themselves after Chandler Bing and Monica Geller. Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable; impracticality almost seems cool."

Alyssa : Why are we stopping?
Holden : Because I can't take this.
Alyssa : Can't take what?
Holden : I love you.
Alyssa : You love me?
Holden : I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know... I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

With the recent onslaught of zombie films hitting theaters in the past couple of years and with even more on the way in the coming months, Justin has requested that I provide a guide to zombies to help clarify a few things for those of you that may be new to the sub-genre of the zombie movie. Here is what I know, my information is from a combination of seeing way too many zombie movies (most very poor in quality) and my personal copy of The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Living Dead by Max Brooks.
To begin, there are only two ways to destroy (not kill, because they are already dead) a zombie. One is by removing the brain from the body, the other is by destroying the brain while attached to the body. This can be accomplished a number of ways, the most popular seems to be shooting the zombie in the head with a high caliber firearm. However, other methods used include jamming screwdrivers into the brain, decapitation, burning the entire body, and running over the head (and sometimes entire body) with an automobile (usually a truck of some sort). There is also the ever effective method of chucking crusty old vinyl records into the head like a ninja star.
Now to answer the big question. What makes a zombie a zombie? Rabid monkeys? Falling rocks from outer space? Chemical waste? Government testing? Voodoo? Theoretically turning into a zombie is a result of contracting a virus called Solanum. It is not known where the virus started or what causes it. I do know how it works. The virus is contracted through fluidic contact only. As the virus flows through the blood stream it slowly shuts down all life functions which finally results in the body going into a coma followed by both heart and brain activity completely stopping. At this point reanimation occurs. Most films however, stay away from a virus being the cause of a zombie outbreak. I believe this is because too much explanation would be needed, and would most likely kill the movie before it even started unless done extremely well. And sadly, there are a large number of films that never give any reason, let alone a bad one.
After reanimation occurs, the brain is the only functioning part of the zombie. This is what allows a zombie to stumble along with limited mobility.
Why do zombies only have a hunger for human flesh? Well, it's not only human flesh that they hunger for. From what I've read, a zombie will attempt to consume any living creature. But it is still unexplained as to why they prefer humans over animals. Some say it's because they hunger to be alive again, I think it's because humans are oafy and relatively slow compared to most animals. Plus, how exciting could a movie about zombies eating cats, dogs, and squirrels possibly be?
Now I'll give you a list of some decent zombie and zombie-like movies you should check out, and my own personal rating on a scale of * to*****:

Night of the Living Dead **** - The film that started the modern zombie film. Before "Night" zombie movies consisted of strange "Astro-zombies" from outer space that would only appears in the film standing over a hill or something cheap like that. Bonus points for the infamous naked zombie.

Dawn of the Dead (original) ***** - The sequel to "Night" that is considered by most fans to be not only the best zombie film, but the best horror film ever made. I disagree, In my book Evil Dead 2 takes that title. Great social commentary and the insane amount of gore do make it an instant classic though.

Day of the Dead ***** - My personal favorite of George A. Romero's trilogy. More gore, more serious than "Dawn", and a more claustrophobic atmosphere make for my most highly recommended zombie film.

Zombi 2 ** - The Unofficial Italian sequel to Dawn of the Dead. When Dawn" was released throughout Europe it was recut and shown as "Zombi: Dawn of the Dead". Zombi 2 (better known as Zombie in the United States) isn't a very good movie, but it has some very cool special effects for a 70's film as well as an underwater fight between a zombie and a shark. And yes, they used a real shark for the entire scene.

Zombi 3,4,5 - I advise you to avoid these three films at all costs. Extremely crappy movies! You've been warned!!!

Return of the Living Dead **** - A horror-comedy produced by one half of the producers of Night of the Living Dead. Very cool zombie make-up and special effects. Also look out for the naked punk rock chick zombie. Fun stuff.

Return of the Living Dead 2 *** - Another horror-comedy that isn't as good as the first film, but is entertaining enough to watch more than once. Keep an eye out for two actors from the first film returning for this one. I thought it was a nice touch.

Return of the Living Dead 3 *** - Strays from both the horror-comedy genre & the traditional zombie genre that made the first two so entertaining. It's more of a love story between a man and his now undead girlfriend. Neat make-up effects also.

Children of the Living Dead * - Crappy direct-to-video movie from the people that brought you Return of the Living Dead. Does star Tom Savini (Sex Machine from "From Dusk 'til Dawn" and the special effects artist from "Dawn" & "Day" as well as Friday the 13th) though. So the zombies look cool, but the plot blows.

Evil Dead **** - The Evil Dead films are nit zombie movies, but they do deal with a ton a zombie like "deadites". The original "video nasty" that was banned in some countries and went to trial on obscenity charges in England. The story is slow at some points, but the over-the-top violence picks up the pace making for the "Ultimate Experience In Grueling Terror".

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn ***** - Better than the original! Adds comedy to the mix, introduces the chainsaw hand, and pumps up the violence meter. Bruce Campbell at his B-movie best!!! If you see one film this Halloween, make it Evil Dead 2!!!

Army Of Darkness **** - The third & final Evil Dead film. Robbed of it's original title Evil Dead 3: Medieval Dead by the cock suckers at Universal Studios. The camp factor is way up and the violence is extremely toned down in this very strange film that is saved by the crazy storyline and top-notch over-acting by Bruce Campbell playing both Ash and Evil Ash. Really fun to watch, although I recommend watching the special edition to see both endings.

28 Days Later ***** - Also not a true zombie movie, but a very intense film. Awesome action and features the introduction of the Uber-zombie. The super fast, overly powerful new breed of zombies that have been used to get the attention of the ADD generation.

House of the Dead - Don't watch this movie! Unless sword fighting samurai zombies and lame Matrix special-effects rip-offs are your cup of tea. Save $7.50 and go to the arcade and play the game, it's way better.

Resident Evil *** - Was lacking in zombie violence, but wasn't as bad as expected considering Paul (Alien Vs. Predator) Anderson was at the helm on this one. Thank god he didn't direct the sequel.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse **** - More zombie violence than the first movie. Only hurt by some extremely corny action sequences, but it's made-up by the addition of another hot female zombie slayer, Oded Fehr.

Shaun of the Dead ***** - Awesome British horror-comedy! What makes this film work is that the living are funny, not the zombies. The zombies are scary as hell at some points even getting a couple of jumps out of this jaded body. Highly recommended.

Dawn of the Dead '04 **** - Not bad for a remake. Only major flaws were casting Mekhi Phifer, but that's just a matter of personal opinion, and the already been done zombie birth. Other than that, a great horror film.

Dead Alive ***** - Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson's Kiwi zombie masterpiece. If you put Evil Dead 2, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead into a blender the result would be Dead Alive. A mix of way over-the-top camp and an unrelenting amount of gore make it one of the best zombie films ever. Kung-fu fighting priests, zombie sex, the original zombie birth, and a giant muppet. How could you go wrong?

Dellamorte, Dellamore **** - Italian horror/comedy/tragedy starring Rupert Everett and known in the US as Cemetery Man. This is an awesome film. Highly reccomended if you can actually find a copy to rent. The video has been out-of-print for a while now, however, the good folks at Anchor Bay have secured the rights and will be releasing a DVD special edition sometime in 2005. El Yay!!! Uno! El Yay!!!

Well yesterday when I still had a car, I took Jamie along with me to see the Saves The Day acoustic show at Whiskey Dix, right next door to the Electric Factory on the Concert For Change.
Safe in the knowledge that all my ticket purchase fees went to John Kerry, I enjoyed opening bands This Rabid Boy and Trouble Everyday. This Rabid Boy had a cool sound and a cute female singer who played the cowbell. Trouble Everyday was just kind of loud and uninteresting to me, but then again I was working on 3 and a half hours of sleep.
STD took their seats on the stage and went right to work...I won't bore you with specific song details, but heres the SWEET Setlist:

I'm sorry I'm leaving
Cars and Calories
What Went Wrong
All Star Me
Ups and Downs
Jessie And My Whetstone
Freakish
Certain Tragedy
In Reverie
Always Ten Feet Tall
My Sweet Fracture
Anywhere With You
Take Our Cars Now!
This Is Not An Exit
______________________
ENCORE (Chris solo)
Imagine (John Lennon Cover)
Hold

Awesome show with a cool intimate atmosphere and everyone (but Jamie singing along). I was right up on the stage directly in front of Dave. Eben entertained by playing the aforementioned cowbell several times. Crowd requests for Jodie went repeatedly ignored until Eben played some of the opening chords and then was told by Chris not to tease us and then he said "You try on your old clothes and see if they fit."
The encore seemed to be unplanned, as the band exited and Dave sort of shrugged, then the crowd chanted for one more song so Chris came back alone to cover Imagine, exclaiming he didn't know all the words...Flubbed several times but the crowd helped him out. At one point he started the line Imagine everyone has s....and he dindn't know the next line, so I shouted SEX as a suggestion, and Chris said, no I don't think thats it dude.
After the set, everyone begged for the setlist, but Chris only had one, and had to keep it for the NYC show tonight. Then he went around the stage shaking everyones hand and thanking them for singing along and Jamie just sat there, so he stuck his hand out to her and said "Thanks for listening." Chris is such a nice guy, kudos to him for going out of his way to meet everyone he can. Acoustic shows rule! See the pictures in the pic section!

Recap of my morning:
Wake up
Shower
Instant message cute girl
Drive to work
Get in horrific car accident and total car
Bleed from face
Get day off from work!

Seriously though...The Tracker (Baby!) Is no more. On this, precisely One year after its purchase, I was off to work like any normal day, when merging onto route one, I began to slow down to get into traffic when my shitty tires skidded out. Losing control of the car, I plumetted into the median strip guardrail, crumpling the Tracker into something akin to a crushed up beer can...along with my beautiful face, which received brush burns and scrapes from the air bag deployment. Luckily for me, oncoming traffic managed to stop and I was able to heave the car into reverse, back off the rail, and drive the wrong way down Route 1 onto the grass at the interchange, where I called 911 and Marcy, who promptly came to pick me up....All the while Jimmy Eat World's AWESOME new album playing in the background...go pick it up today!

The Good:
Got out of work!
Get to buy a new car (one with good traction)!
Watched some of my Friends Season 7 DVD

The Bad:
Went to doctors to get face checked out, as a bonus found out I had an ear infection and had to get a Tetanus shot.
My face is my livelihood!

PICTURES TO COME SOON...

Whats the definition of your life? I think mine would have to be, an alternating set of dizzying highs and crushing lows. Now I just need something to balance it out. Mike suggested warm milk.