While watching Lord Of The Rings:ROTK the other day I noticed that Viggo Mortenson was making a multitude of bad ass entrances, not only in the movie, but in the entire series. It was then I realized how important it was to be a bad ass in the entertainment medium. Heres some bad ass lists about bad asses.

Top Five People Who Used To Be Bad Ass, But Aren't Anymore and Wish They Still Were.
5.John Stamos
4.Macho Man Randy Savage
3.David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider years)
2.Charlie Sheen
1.Governor Arnold Schwarzenneggar


Top 5 People Who Maintain An Excellence In The Field Of Being Bad Ass
5.Dennis Hopper
4.Samuel L. Jackson
3.Tommy Lee
2.Kool Aid Guy
1.Mr. T

- February 3rd, hilarious movie hits DVD: My Boss's Daughter

- Scrubs is moving to Tuesday nights and is apparently adding Michael J. Fox to the cast, however the loss of Tara Reid seems inevitable

- Winter's clutches still grip the Northeast in an icy stranglehold

- Guest poster and local eccentric RJ Hagerman has had many adventures in the past two weeks and should post them soon

- A new contender for worst movie ever made was discovered by Brian Davis on Showtime: Kickboxing Academy. Anybody ever see this disasterpiece?

- The L-Word. Showtime's risque answer to sex in the city. PURE TRASH! Stories pulled right out of the worst writer's ass. They tried to spice up the series premeire with a high degree of smut, but pared it way down in the 2nd, regular length episode. Without the smut, the viewer was left to focus on the lousy dialog and plot which included, but was not limited to a discussion of "gaydar".

1.Because when I leave the room, if only for a minute to go to the bathroom or get a cool beverage or something, he shuts the light off.

2.Hes the slowest driver in this country under the age of 70.

3.Because when I burp he still says "What do you say?" Expecting me to excuse myself, even if I'm still chewing or talking or gasping for air or something.

4.Because he has become obsessed with American Idol.

5.And finally, because he bought himself a hoagie for dinner and didn't get me anything, or even ask if I had eaten or not yet. I'm hungry.

1.People who have "In memory of" stickers in their car windows.

2.Winter

3.Football Pre-empting The Simpsons and Arrested Development.

4.Customers who come in to my office past 4:30 PM/Customers who want Amtrak/Customers who want Alaska cruises.

5.The fact that Mike's probably the only other person reading this.

We've finally hit the bottom of the barrel here...
I don't feel like commenting on each movie listed here, but suffice to say, they sucked royally. With that in mind, bear witness to number 11...The Matrix Revolutions...It wasn't worse than any of these, just sad for what it could have been, and for the other 2 good movies it ruined my perception of.

10.Tears Of The Sun
9.Legally Blonde 2
8.Malibu's Most Wanted
7.LXG
6.Texas Chainsaw Massacre
5.The Hulk
4.Lara Croft Tomb Raider 2
3.Timeline
2.View From The Top
1.Cabin Fever

Ah TV...My most beloved medium of popular culture...heres the best of the best from the past 367 days (today being January 2 that is).

10.Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - What can I say, this shows got a hold on me...I think the theme song might have subliminal messaging. Everytime I click it on though I find I can't stop watching just to see what they do to these slobs to fix their lives.

9.Late Night With Conan O' Brien - Every night I click on over to NBC to hear the words....LATE NIGHT WITH CONANNNNN O BRIEEEEEEEEENNNNN. Then to see that ridiculously haired man swagger out and crack me up with skits ranging from everyones favorite insult dog puppet too my personal favorite...In The Year 2000.

8.Viva La Bam - The Jackassery lives on as Bam tortures his poor Pennsylvanian family weekly. A favorite if just for the fact that sometimes they end up in Philly locations that I've been too.

7.South Park - This shows still on a roll, from the insta classic of the "Casa Bonita" episode to the insane farce of Cartman's Jennifer Lopez rival hand puppet in the "Fat Butt and Pancake Head" episode, the slapstick never ends and you never know who Trey and Matt are gonna skewer with their razor sharp with next.

6.Chappelle's Show - South Park finally has a show just as funny as it is to follow it up! Chappelle's insanely hilarious skits ranging from a faux R. Kelly music video (Piss on Me) to a send up of Trading Spaces (Trading Spouses...and this time we're going interracial!) to the uproarious skit where he played a blind black man who didn't know he was black...and was also a member of a white supremacist group...Can't wait for Season Two.

5.The Shield - The best cop show on TV. Period. You never know what side of the law the Strike Team is going to play next...And the season ending action packed Money Train heist leaves you desperate to know whats going to happen next.

4.Arrested Development - For awhile I thought there was going to be not one new sitcom this entire season to come out that would be worth watching...Ron Howard's innovative and smartly funny comedy changed that. At times outlandish and wacky, and at others...well more insanely outlandish and wacky, the camera work almost makes it feel realistic though. Mad props especially to the not seen in some time and fun narrative format.

3.Futurama - This might not be a fair ranking as every episode aired this year was meant for a full season last year...But due to Fox's jerk-ass handling of the already cult classic franchise, many viewers missed out. Three Hundred Big Boys is one of the best and most hilarious animated episodes of any series I've ever seen, and the bittersweet finale actually lended a nice feeling of closure. I'm glad it found a home on Cartoon Network.

2.Scrubs - Another innovative and still growing comedy without a laugh track and the classic sitcom formula pratfalls. Interesting and fun turns from guest stars Amy Smart and Tara Reid added to the fun while John C. McGinley brings his sarcastic Doctor Cox to passionate, well-timed life weekly to my delight. I hope the ratings reflect how good this show is at the end of the year when its time for renewals...and oh yeah, THE JANITOR RULES!

and #1.Friends - Hey its the last season of one of my all-time favorite shows! Chandler's insta-wit has returned, the ill-advised Joey-Rachel romance was booted quickly into the season...and best of all it looks like everyone should be wrapped up in a neat little package with Ross and Rachel getting together, and moving to the suburbs with Mike and Phoebe and Monica and Chandler while Joey heads out to LA and his spin-off...or at least thats how I'd write it.

The 2003 movie season was surely one to remember, with one of the strongest summers in recent years. I could tell it was a good year because choosing my top ten was actually difficult. Well, here is my top ten movies of the year, counting down:

10. Love Actually - 'The Ultimate Romantic Comedy', this one was funny, clever, touching, and a date movie that didn't make me want to puke all over the theater.

9. School Of Rock - Jack Black exploded into the limelight with two hours of Jack Black being Jack Black, but somehow coupling that with a bunch of kids made it socially acceptable for the rest of America to enjoy. I'm not sure if I want to share Jables with the rest of the ignorant movie going public, but this movie rocked.

8. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - Epic. But too long.

7. Lost in Translation - A creative story told in a very realistic way that left you wondering about the characters long after you walk out.

6. Once Upon A Time in Mexico - Over the top acting by Johnny Depp, dark and brooding Antonio Banderas and some great action scenes, this movie didn't try to carbon copy Desperado, but tried something new instead

5. X-Men 2 - Delivered where X-Men 1 fell short: great action sequences, good character development, and a decent story... and a glorious episode of beserker rage

4. American Splendor - Much like Harvey Pekar, the real life focus of the story, this movie was just plain weird. It showed the splendor of every day life without stooping to overdramatic scenes of some pasty kid videotaping a plastic bag blowing in the breeze. Of course, it also celebrated the comic medium unlike any other movie has before

3. Old School - At first I thought this movie wasn't as good as Road Trip but a dazzling performance by Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn kept my appreciation for this one growing with each viewing. Comic gold.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean - Arr! Johnny Depp runs away with the film but where would it be without the lucious Keira Knightley. Somehow Disney managed to serve up the perfect summer movie... let's just hope the sequel doesn't ruin it like we all know it will.

1. Kill Bill, Volume 1 - Watching this film makes you feel like you're sitting in the head of Quentin Tarentino ... This movie took chances like no other and delivered in every scene. The fight scenes were magnificent in their stylized violence, the soundtrack was perfect, the anime sequence looked beautiful, the dialogue was way over the top, and if you should encounter God or Buddah in your journey, He would be cut! This movie stands as the ultimate homage to a handful of movie genres, can't wait to see what happens to The Bride in Volume II...